


The truth

by Hotgitay



Category: This Is Us (TV)
Genre: Brotherhood, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Death, Family, Gen, Nephews - Freeform, Niece, Other, Past Domestic Violence, UNCLE - Freeform, Vietnam War, War, vietnam veteran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 10:46:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17558912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotgitay/pseuds/Hotgitay
Summary: The big three take uncle Nicky to jack’s mini grave at the treeSo he could tell him the truth about what happened in Vietnam’





	The truth

“I always thought you’d be the one to outlive me. I never thought it would be the other way around. You were always a great brother to me growing up. Whenever dad was in one of his drunken stupors and attacking our mother and on the verge of putting his hands on us, you were the one whom had the courage to stand up to the monster. I never got to tell you the truth about that fateful day in Nam. You never let me utter a word about it to you when I was back here in the states.

You deserve to know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. When I was on that boat with that boy, I tried my best to save his life. He saw me playing with grenades. I threw them in the water, we were catching fish together, rather any fish that came our way. One of the grenades slipped out of my hands..

Next thing I knew there was an explosion. Loud noises. I was in the water, the boat was a complete and utter wreck. I turned to find him and he was gone. I stole that boys childhood and entire future away from him. I can see how that would make me a bad person, but I never meant for the kid to die. 

I was trying to be nice to the people in the village. I figured if I could stop being a grump for a single second, I could do something and actually be productive for once instead of lying around doing nothing, but of course nothing ever goes my way. When I got out of Nam, I prayed everyday that you would never deal with the pain I went through arriving back here at home in the states.

The way vets would get treated once they arrived home.. the names they’d get called. Murderers, sorry sobs, baby killers, zombies of the killer war machine. It wasn’t just that but I was not a well man. Nam left me in a bad mental space it scarred me in ways that are unimaginable.

I met your sons and daughter and I met your wife Rebecca. She’s still beautiful, if you’re wondering. You picked a good woman to have raise those kids of yours. The kids found me after all these years. Kevin found my address from the old letters I sent you. The ones you told me to stop sending you..

I’ll never forget the look on that poor mother's face when she realized her son was dead because of me. I hated myself. I still hate myself. If I could trade my life for his, I would have. Maybe it would have been better off that way.. than you wouldn’t have had to deal with your disappointment of a kid brother. I don’t blame you for hating me, I already hate myself. 

I never got to say goodbye to you Jack, my big brother. I will always love you even if you stopped loving me after I was responsible for risking an innocent child’s life. I’m a monster. I live with that fact everyday. Every time I look at myself in a mirror, I’m reminded of Dad. I became him. I was even worse than him. 

I became what I never wanted to become, which was just like dad. He would probably spit in my face if he was still alive. Mom didn’t have to worry about him putting his hands on her once he was gone did she? No she didn’t. I wish we had more time together. I wish I could fix what happened, but I know I can’t.” Uncle Nicky spoke to himself as he stood in front of Jack’s grave. His niece and nephews had brought him to see his brother. They figured it would give him the closure he desperately needed. Hearing him say those words out loud were heartbreaking to say the least. 

Kate wanted to cry. Randall cursed his dad's name in his head, wondering why his father never gave Nicky a chance to redeem himself. 'Nicky deserved better' he thought to himself. And Kevin was heartbroken at the sight of his uncle breaking into tears, collapsing to the ground, kneeling in front of the tree. They watched him cry his heart out before they helped him back to his feet and led him inside of the car.


End file.
